I Bought a Crow Suit to Scare My Husband and Now I Can’t Stop Wearing It

Thursday night, I realized something slightly horrifying. My children are not the only ones emotionally attached to character onesies.

For years, I judged them lovingly. Hugsy the Lion. Unicorn Lynnlee. Tiny humans waddling around this house dressed like magical woodland creatures with fruit snacks in their pockets and zero interest in normal clothing. But they always looked so comfortable. So safe. So completely themselves in those costumes.

Meanwhile I’d be downstairs in my expensive Ugg robe looking like someone’s chain-smoking great aunt named Brenda that says things like, “Men ain’t worth it, sweetheart,” while stealing twenty dollars from your purse during a goodbye hug.